Illusion, Delusion and Changing Times

With every post I'm thinking that I may have fixed my template problem. I was getting frustrated with Nvu, thinking that using it to blog wasn't using it the way that it was meant to be used. Then I went to check out the blog of the person who designed the program and it turns out lots of people use Nvu to blog. Who knew? I guess I'll just keep plugging away. Learning to use it is a distraction, and entertaining. I also went looking for guides to features that I haven't been able to figure out yet, only to discover that the tutorial has never actually been finished. Of course, I haven't read every single word of the help files and tutorial yet, but if the information is there its not clearly labeled. I working on my own fix for that. If anyone reading has any ideas or insight into Nvu let me know. Maybe Green Chameleon knows something?

I'm debating on whether I'm interested enough in HTML to start a blog dedicated specifically for it. I've thought about a web page also, but every time I try to start one it ends up being just a long page of ramblings and saved notes, which is what I don't want. I'm really excited about Nvu and there doesn't seem to be much out there about it or how to use it.

Despite my blogs subject matter there are a few people who come back regularly. The pics are for you and for me. The woman is Rita Hayworth. I've been enjoying the previous pics so much that I thought I'd add more. As always I found the images online. They're really too small to do justice to such beauty, so I also linked them to larger versions stored at Geocities. Enjoy.

The response to my last post was almost instant. As I've said before my stalkers know what I'm writing almost as soon as I write it. First chat went silent, with chatters giving the NeoNazi 88 (Heil Hitler, for those of you who aren't in the know) sign before they stopped chatting int he main room. Second it took my post well over 24 hrs. to show up in my 360° feeds. I'm starting to wonder if anyone other than them can see my blog at all. The next day my stalkers started responding. I guess they need some time to commiserate. My stalkers always take the attitude of being somehow wiser than me. Their general attitude is that they are teaching someone who is incapable of coping with the world, how to do it, and they intend to teach the hard way. One asked me "If you were hanging onto a branch by your teeth over a pack of hungry wolves would you let go to growl at them?" Clearly a response to my assertion that I'm just not smart enough to keep silent about what's happening in my life. It seems like an odd comment though because it seems like the hungry wolves are asking if I'm smart enough not to be eaten by them. It reminds me of the type of ego head trip the Nazis were on. They had convinced themselves that if the Jews had been smarter they would have somehow evaded the Final Solution. The logic is so circular and obviously inept its mind boggling that anyone over the age of 18 could maintain it for longer than a season without realizing their own foolishness. Supposedly, if I were smart i wouldn't call them fools; if I were smart I wouldn't let them make me angry. Who wants to be that smart? I wonder if women or men who comply with their rapist demands, and submit to the rape and never contact the police, look in the mirror every day while their brushing their hair and say, "I am so smart."

Along with this typical display of wit and logic came the regular signs of contempt. They know where I live and in fact live near me. They know who I live with and think they are saintly for "trying to help" me. Obviously, my offline friends know and protect my online stalkers. Don't even ask me who that works for them, because I really don't know. Black people who think NeoNazis are harmless and funny are the lowest form of life in my opinion. They'll keep us all laughing right into the showers while the orchestra plays that wonderful music. Why would they play this wonderful music if they were going to kill us? My offline friends made it clear that they think the death threats are a joke, as well as the police officer who told me that they weren't illegal, and the cars that play chicken with me while I walk to the store. All just a few people having a laugh. I haven't laughed so hard since my father died. As usual, there's more, but I'm tired of writing about it. Hopefully, one day I'll be free and this will all be material for a really good book.

One of my stalkers implied that I was being treated. He/she suggested that I am going though therapy, that I am a person who can't adapt to a changing paradigm, and suggested that I might be undergoing a chemical lobotomy. Do I seem like a person who needs to be medicated against his will, and such a sever case that the only solution is a chemical lobotomy? Unfortunately, my offline friends are completely mistaken. My stalkers have every intention of killing me. I've contacted the police and the FBI numerous times. There's nothing I can do.

I was looking for other distractions today and came across this blog. Very exciting writing and extremely cute (and married) chick. Her comments section is more like a Guestbook. I left a comment and when I started to leave my URL I found myself thinking about what she or anyone would find when they visit here. There's a lot about my blog and life that don't say "visit and join in". Like her, I wish that I had other things to write about. Unlike her I do have other things to write about except this thing consumes me.